Being made new

So often I turn my thoughts separate from you. Somehow I manage to forget how you made me new. Shiny as a penny I enter the world only to be immersed in dirt. But you did something cool you had washed me specially so that when I return to you the shine doesn't fade it is always there. At times in the dungyness I have trouble seeing the shine and at other times it as if the shine repels not only my dirt but the dirt of others. They see the shine and inquire about you. It is amazing to be able to tell them of the wonderful person who made my life shine and to tell them of how they could be shiny too. I know when I seem dingy that it is false and untrue but I also know it is because I have walked away from you. It is me trying to deny your love and your gift. I am not sure why I do that, no that's not true I know exactly why I do that. Sometimes even being shiny seems lonely. Sometimes it is because I am shiny that I am lonely. Lonely because I am different. I think that if I cover up the shine others will look at me and love me more. And for a time it might work but then you try to wipe me off you call for me letting me know that you love me. There comes a point when I cannot deny the love and I give up the dirt to be shined again. Why do you keep loving me though? Do you not ever get tired of having to continually call for me? Having to come after me again and again? To clean me? Don't you ever want to just wash your hands of me? I guess I find this so amazing and unbelievable because no where else in my life have I seen such utter devotion. Well maybe I can see a light echo of it in my mother but for the most part when things get tough everyone seems to get going, they leave and search for greener pastures. But not you, you are always there arms stretched open waiting for me to turn and smile and come running with a hug. You truly are marvelous and amazing. I am not sure why anyone wouldn't want to know a love like that. It astounds me. You astound me and scare me and give me hope. I love you